Our Blog got a Cute Makeover Yeah!

Random Pictures of the Last Month

This is a cute little Lighthouse just outside of Tillamook.

This is documenting Caleb's first view of an Ocean!

This picture is taken from the top of the Waterfall

(Caleb is slouching trying to make us feel taller. My height 5'8 Blake 5'10 Caleb 6'3)

This is us after hiking to the top of the waterfall. I felt completely out of shape, But felt better when i relised that i am only a month out of surgery and being 5 months pregnant so Yeah Go me for hiking to the top of a waterfall. It was Worth it.

These pictures are the views from our apartment. Jim says its like being at the cabin. Randy says it is like camping.

This is Blakes First Day of Orentation. Does he not look cute!

(Blake just loves that i put this on the internet)

?

Blake told me to stop freaking out and stressing over every little thing. The reality is that if i commite to two more years of schooling we will only have a 6 month period of time that we will have to make payments on my loan with out his income and if we save we could do that without too much of an income from me as well. Torri is right in the fact that i have the time to do it now and it could help a lot if God forsaken anything ever happened to Blake and i had to support my children. She is also makes apoint that the lord has told women to get an education when they can. And while Jan makes appoint about their being a time and season for everything. I don't have children to raise right now and i have to wait to get pregnant for my own saftey and health. The Lord took my child from me at it hurts and i am angrey and fight depression everyday. My Dad and blake are admit about the fact that having something to completly lose myself in like furthering my education would help me mentaly and emotionaly. It would also speed up the time that i do have to wait to try again for children.
So while it may be hard. I go forward taking my test in 8 days. Pray for me I'm going to need it in the Aural skills portion of the test.
Jamie

I don't know What to do.

Second thought on Grad School... Vent... If it weren't for the money thing I would just go. Yes Blake will be a pharmacist and we won't have any trouble paying back the loans when he is...But... I will be done with school a year or two before he will be done which means I will have to pay back my loans myself which means getting a job... Problem... Shortage of teaching jobs in the musical field...Problem... What if I get pregnant during or after grad school? I want to have children the Doctor says I can have children I just need to wait a while. But how do I pay back a loan when I am pregnant or have a baby. Do I work? I don’t want to work when I have a baby being raised by someone else I promised myself I would not do that. So how can I go to School now? If I knew I could defer the loan until Blake was done. I would do it. But really going to school now just puts us into more debt. I don’t think it is fair...But can I get a mediocre job now to keep myself busy and hope I get pregnant? I worked for 5 years on a degree I can’t seem to use except to go to grad school. I got pregnant but that turned into my own personal hell. So can I count on it again? What do I do? I have less than 10 days to decide.