I don't know What to do.

Second thought on Grad School... Vent... If it weren't for the money thing I would just go. Yes Blake will be a pharmacist and we won't have any trouble paying back the loans when he is...But... I will be done with school a year or two before he will be done which means I will have to pay back my loans myself which means getting a job... Problem... Shortage of teaching jobs in the musical field...Problem... What if I get pregnant during or after grad school? I want to have children the Doctor says I can have children I just need to wait a while. But how do I pay back a loan when I am pregnant or have a baby. Do I work? I don’t want to work when I have a baby being raised by someone else I promised myself I would not do that. So how can I go to School now? If I knew I could defer the loan until Blake was done. I would do it. But really going to school now just puts us into more debt. I don’t think it is fair...But can I get a mediocre job now to keep myself busy and hope I get pregnant? I worked for 5 years on a degree I can’t seem to use except to go to grad school. I got pregnant but that turned into my own personal hell. So can I count on it again? What do I do? I have less than 10 days to decide.